My Second Miscarriage

I was actually not intending to discuss this topic today, but as I need to do research for the next topic I wanted to discuss I figured I would switch it around, and do the next one next time.

I was kind of prepared for my second miscarriage. Except I also wasn't. No matter how much you tell yourself you are ready for this, you never really are. . .

I again knew I was pregnant about 4 or 5 days before I was, except this time I kind of knew what was going on. I knew on monday, but had to wait till friday before anything would show up. Boy, I waited that week with an excited feeling in my heart. I was cramping, my breasts were huge and tender, and I had so much discharge it wasn't funny. Copious discharge after ovulation for me means pregnant. I wasn't tired yet, or having strange cravings, but I knew every pregnancy is different. I was absolutely sure I was pregnant.

The 23rd came around and I wanted to take that test but was too afraid to do it. My husband finally convinced me that evening to take it and I did. Two very faint lines, but they were lines.

I was pregnant!

It only took me about a month or two to get pregnant this time and I was so grateful! I didn't want to wait the 5 months it took me the first time, so I'd been quite proactive, charting with a fervor I didn't know I had.

Once I found out I was pregnant I called the OBGYN right away. Of course, I didn't have an appointment until the next week, but I insisted on being seen anyway. I'd had a miscarriage before, and the HCG had been so low, I needed someone to do a blood test on me, I didn't care if the doctor could see me or not. I knew this was not the protocol. I was seeing a new doctor, a doctor that was in such high demand because he is just that awesome. And I do mean it when I say that.

He agreed to see me that week and I went about my business quite happily. I didn't care, I was going to see the doctor.

The day before I was slated to see the doctor I saw bloody discharge. I freaked out. I called the doctor, explaining that yes, it was only pink tinged discharge, but I'd had a miscarriage before. Something wasn't right.

They told me to relax, that if it was a miscarriage there was nothing I could do, but since it wasn't really blood and no clots, I would just have to wait until the next day. The doctor did call me that day though, just to talk to me himself, even though he was on call. I said he was a great doctor didn't I.

Within the next two to three weeks I had three blood tests. Two just to check on my HCG, and then the last one because I insisted that I was feeling pregnant. The first two confirmed that I was pregnant, but there was no way that my HCG levels were going up properly. The last blood test was taken because I was feeling more pregnant. That showed that my levels were going up, but still not enough. At what should have been 7 1/2 weeks for me, my HCG levels were only at 100 something. I don't remember that well.

My doctor suggested a D&E, explaining to me that this pregnancy was not going to be normal, even if I carried it out farther. He just wasn't comfortable letting me go on.

I trusted my doctor and went ahead with it. I know it was the right thing to do, anyone can say whatever they want.

He was gentle, the procedure went by quick, and they made sure that I was either not awake for it or just didn't remember it. I'm not sure which, because obviously I don't remember it.

I waited six weeks for a karyotype test on the tissue which never came back. My doctor believes that the tissue just didn't grow. When I went back for my follow-up appointment we decided we were going to test for a chromosome problem and a blood clotting problem.

A little over three weeks later I found out that I had a balanced translocation between chromosome 4 and 16.

I cried. They can't fix that you know.

And of course, my doctor being the wonderful doctor that he is, sent me to a genetic counselor to discuss what that meant.

I'm feeling hopeful. All the women on my mom's side of the family had it, and they've all had children. I know it can be done. My mother had a translocation AND Endometriosis. My aunt had a translocation AND Placenta previa. As far as we can figure, I'm perfectly fine except for this.

I know you're wondering what a translocation is, exactly, and that's my topic for next time, so stay tuned. . .